blah

Kor's in Genting...
D came home....

I want to go to Genting....
=(

tomorrow presentation for one of the projects...
I fell like deleting my blog link...
There's nothing to do around here...
Very very very boring.......

wrapping up the whole day..lol

today....
Saturday..
school....
=.=
went to school....
double boring....
my class = 47 people...
attendance for the day?
15 people...
wheeee...
R & LX wrote extra big bout LK...
hz...
SY & V now know bout the crazy crush I have on you.....
=.=
thanks alot R & LX...
I didn't need it....=.=

After school which was like at 12.35pm....
Started walking home...
yes I walk home under the crazy freeking blazing hot sun...
He didn't come.....
luckily....
If not it would have been dead obvious about the crush issue...

Went home.....
quickly ate lunch and bathed....
and immediately got into the car and drove down to PJ...
was helping K out with worship...
piano!!
oh oh and this guy was chosen by one of our friends to help out with drums.....
gosh....
he's LOUD!!
I could barely hear the piano and it was like maximum!!
lol but his drumming was cool..
according to G, he's grade 8 in drumming..
and blah blah blah...
yeah we somehow managed to pull off worship nicely...
haha...
then....we went for group discussions...
pioneers didn't have a leader or a room....
so we kinda just crashed the seniors room...
it was so freeking hot so I went to sit under the fan...
then C joined me....
then K....
then G...
ended up talking on the floor under the fan! haha!

then blah blah blah....
oh!!
after dismissal, HZ appeared!!
yay!!
(typing bout him...he suddenly come online lol)
So long never see him around...
but as the shy person I am (riiittteee) I didn't even dare to say hi...
=.=
K was like...."go talk to him lah!!!!"
me : dun wan lah....after like so awkward lah....
she gave up..

went home...
had dinner....
now online
haha kinda wraps up the whole day....
kinda...
=]
byee...
tata...
xoxo

.:*Xhe Yi*:.

22nd April

Oo I'm mean...
lol but the pic is nice..
look at the background!!!

lol my kor and I...(i look so weird lol!)

this is even weirder...

kor took the camera........=.=
 one of my earliest presents!!!

thanks kor!!!

little bits of me...

ohhh crap....
it hurts.....
alot....
fcuk...
gonna hurt till end of this week i think....
just now texted kor....
he didn't reply till later...but i fell asleep....
i texted wern too....
but she was busy with homework...
so...
yes...i cried alone...
and fell asleep....
have to go there again either tomorrow....or on the 23rd...
*sigh* damn sad wei...
can't eat japanese on thursday....

it hurts like crap!!
and i cried again when i found out i can't eat...
i miss D...
i still remember him going off for his plane over and over again....
as i hugged him...
i prayed that he would be safe throughout the journey...
i held back my tears when he said "bye and happy birthday"...
so of course he won't be around when i turn 16....
like he wasn't around when i turned 15...
after i got into the car and watched him walk towards the airport...
i realized that a tear had fallen....
i was so glad it was dark and M won't be able to see that i was crying...

mixed up into one.....

hmm....
just found out about quite a number of things....

annnyyywwaaayyy....
since i'm online till a certain time i shall not say....
i thought of posting something....
but....
i might cause war...
so i'm not going to expose the whole story...

someone didn't come to school today....
class was so quiet...
haha!!
well....

except for the usual noisy gang behind there.....

i don't get what's the big deal....
you're with him...
i'm no longer...
so what?
and i just found out that C reads my blog......
=.="
talk bout a bit awkward....
*thinks mental note to self*
haha
just joking...
it doesn't bother me that you read my blog..
it doesn't bother me that you're with her...
much...
but i'll get over it...
besides....
lots off cute guys out there...
lol
and i already have one or two that caught my attention...
*hint hint*
lol...i'm bad...
but....good girls are girls that never get caught!

thinking of you..

and here i am...
thinking of you...
thinking what we could be....
but unsure if that would ever happen....
maybe it could...
but not to me...

I'm already upset that you're going to the camp...
and i can't...
*sigh*
i want to go!!
all my friends are going to leave me behind....
again....
darn it!!

c.o.n.f.l.i.c.t.s......

conflicts....

love...

arguments....

misunderstandings....

all add up to....

trouble...

Random Mixing....

One week passed....
let's see....
tomorrow is Seafield's sports day...
(not going...so don't bother)
tomorrow is also JNY's birthday...
happy 16..
to JNY (if you ever read this) : haha soak under the hot hot sun for your birthday!!lol.
kay kay...

than.....
today plans canceled with kor cause M wanted to spend some "quality time"....
went to SP and mostly walked around....
got yogurt ice-cream....
saw D's eyes go from bored--->shock when he found out how much the ice-creams were...
*whispers : not cheap kay!!*

today during recess......
anyone reading this...and i mean EVERYONE....don't get angry after you read it....
i was siting there kind of staring at all of them....
asking myself...
why am i here??
in the end i kind of gave up....
got up and walked away....
i don't know why i did it..
but i just felt like i didn't belong there....

when the bell rang...
i walked to the ONLY stairs that was open...and bumped into C...
i kind of lost my balance...
luckily Wern and Ai Lin i think....were coming towards the stairs...
i followed them up to my class...

than went blah blah blah....
he came to my class....who knows for what reason....
yes he came....
not alone though....
luckily i sit in the middle of the class.....
luckily i had me friends to be there with me at that time....

recent happenings....

10th April 2009

FRIDAY!!!
went to school...
blah blah blah blah...
oh yeah...
but yeah there's that whole other story...
in school there's 3 girls involved...+ 1 guy..
A & C like 'boy'...
'boy' like A's friend, B
A is willing to let B take 'boy' because she thinks its just a crush...
in doing so..she says she doesn't have any feelings anymore for 'boy'.
but B doesn't like 'boy' or so she claims...
A & B doesn't even know who C is...
but there are rumors that there is a girl in class that like 'boy'.
thaaaaaannnnnnnnnn........
girl A also likes someone that she's never seen for a long time...
but she also thinks that that is also another crush....
and that person probably already has girl already...
too complicated??
that's what's happening so far...
you may or may not know who is A & C and the two guys...
don't burst my bubble so fast...
unless the two guys themselves answer to this post.... =)

Than after school...
had tuition...
it rained heavily and stopped just when it was time to go...
tuition went on...
than ended at 5.35pm..

than....
at night...
went to church...
at 7.15 cause performing...
last min practice in the church hall...
service started at 8pm...
after service...
went home...oh yeah..only with D cuz M and elf stayed at home..
cuz elf had school the next day...

11 April 2009

This morning...
went for cantata practice...
yes...
in church..
again....
than....at 12.15pm practice ended...
was called upstairs to the office...
had to fix all the service papers...
wrong date...........
inserting extra infos.....
than...went home around 1.30pm....

after lunch..
cleaned up my room....
it looks so much better!!!lol
you can actually see empty spaces in the shelves!!!haha
i finished around 5.45pm...
yes...that's a very very long time....
especially when i started at 2.45pm...

Than...
later around 6.30pm....
went out to a restaurant with a weird name...haha

NOW...
I'm online...
just finished sivik research...
and moral project...
talking with C...
I can sort of handle thinking bout him with that girl now...
i think...
at least i don't think i'll break down in school if i saw him and her again...
annyyyywwwaaaaayyyyy....
waiting for kor to come online again...
he said he go gym....
which closes at 10pm....
but so far he not yet online also...=.=
so yeah...
sign-ing off now..
tata!!
sayornara!!(if thats how u spell it haha)

I'm pissed off at myself...

I can't belive I'm that easily.....
'disturbed' if that's the word for it...
I'm supposed to be OVER you by now...
but when I saw you with HER....
i freaked...
It's been four months....
and you've gotten yourself involved with another girl already?!?
who the hell are you!?!
I saw you walking out with her like you walk out with me last time...
I nearly cried...
I'm not afraid to admit that...
but it's annoying that i'm still not over you...
fcuk..

Sorry to Disappoint

I never thought that YOU would be one of THEM...
I thought YOU were different...
now i know....

YOU are exactly like THEM.

you both were my best friends and my sisters...
but now....i think things are changing a lot...
one would always go down during recess when last time she would normally company me in the library if i had too much work....
but now....she prefer going downstairs with V & A...
than.....the other one....hz...
she prefers the "inner-livelier" part of the group...
not that i would blame her or anything...i mean i would too...
but...to sum things up..
i'm the only one in the "gang" that went to arts instead of science...
I find that now when i "mix"with the "gang"....they talk about science stuff....
yeah i know you're in pure and sub...but hello...not all your conversations revolve around status..
right???
why separate me from you??
how different am i?
if you're in pure science....so what?
it doesn't mean you're smarter than the sub-science and arts students....
okay fine....in a way yeah you know more stuff...
but...aren't we the same??
sheesh...the way i see it...
it's like...there's this huge gigantic gap in between the pure, sub, and arts...

i'm sorry to those that came here to my blog
just to find a very angry,emo post....
but this is only half of what i'm going through...

Forget It...fullstop...the end...

I'm sitting here in front of the laptop...
just wondering what to type....
Should I expose what I'm thinking?
Or should I just say I'm good?
I don't want you to know that you've hurt me...
more than in a way..
But......as I sit here and think what to really let out...
I think of you and wonder if you'll know it's really you that I mean...
Do you miss me?
Do you even care that I'm gone???
What if I didn't exist today?
What would the world have been like?

oh...yes...the Paws thing...
I'm disappointed that they won't except volunteers on weekends...
I'm not free during weekdays for goodness sake!!!!
The place closes in half an hour time....
still waiting for SOMEONE to reply my messages so to tell what to do....
but....yeah.....
she's too addicted to "maple story"...*sigh*

In the night I hear your voice...
talking sweetly in my ear...
telling me it's alright and that you'll always be with me...
that....didn't happen...again.....
forget it....
It will be this way....
Forget it...

....tagged.......by Jin Onn......hz....

random pic...

1st Tag
Directions : Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog, you can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I aim to study at Aus in 3&1/2 years time
2. I hate myself xP
3. I love myself xD
4. I think that I look a little like Wern last time lol
5. I'm gonna try getting a volunteer job at Paws
6. I love ice-cream!!!!!!
7. Did you know that sugar actually makes you age faster?!?!? =O
8. My economics skills are horrible
9. I have no idea why I'm doing this tag....
10. I envy those people that wear dresses and look better than i do haha!!!
11. I'M FREAKING too random....but my friends love me for it!!!lol
12. I like going to Aus....especially Melbourne....
13. I like guys that can play the guitar and sing.. *hint hint* lol
14. I'm happy I have many friends that will be there for me
15. I can't think of anything to type in right now.....
16. I'm not sure if I want to do a tag anymore!!!haha

2nd tag
Direction: List 5 things that has something to do with you

1. 5 things you love the most
- Family
- My Pet sibs
- Ice-cream!( Choco-Mint please..... )
- My handphone
- My music

2. 5 things you hate the most
- When I hate myslf.........
- Big headed jerks that only care for how they look
- Guys that put games before their friends....especially their gfs.
- Alcoholics
- Sex maniacs

3. 5 things beside u
- My handphone
- Chair
- Pillows
- Main phone
- Mum's art work...........

4. 5 babes you love the most (added : y can't it be guys???)
*changing question for some girl's sake*
4. 5 guys you love the most
- D
- My bro =)
- A specific guy...... *looks around*
- Jesse McCartney
- Any guy that can make me fall in love xD (nothing to type adi)

5. 5 things you need the most
- Family
- Friends
- My handphone
- Music around me
- Intenet connection

Kay...I finished my tag..... I tag.......um....
- Kor
- Wern
- Est
- Siew
- Denise

Who am I???

Who am I??

Thanks sis and kor...

mostly sis who scolded me....(and ratted me out on plurk...... =.=)

What's the "new" me going to be like???

okay....there were a few suggestions.....

if anyone reading this.....please comment and add suggestions pls??

these were the suggestions that i got so far... :

~not to be so stubborn

~be the crazy person i was before...

~be hapy-go-lucky....again...according to them....like i was before...

~be myself....

any suggestions...again add comment on cbox or this post itself

thanks!! =)

Currently Overboard...again...

Theory Exam IS OVERRRRRR!!!!!!!!

yay..

now practicing for practical grade 8...... -.-

*sigh* what to do....

at least i don't need to do theory anymore for the rest of the year.....i think...

oh and....

i think it's best if I don't mention that topic anymore...

I have not heard from anyone except kor for a very long time....

Now in my cousin's place...

got nothing to do...so yeah.."create post la"...

create post also nothing to write about....

so I guess i'll go check out everyone's blog..

though I think i know what i'll find there...

I don't know why everyone is always against me...

but yeah....to hell if i care...I'm individual...

has always been that way..

okay...mabe except for one thing that happened...

but even that is over now...

so why bother??

I'm back to being independent....
Finding myself again....

Honest replies...I will not hold much back...

seeing what you posted.......

That really hurt me.....

We always want to be with you.....

but.....from our point of view....

honestly....you've changed.....

but yeah.....you'll always be our sister......

and for goodnessake...I do belive you all are more updated than I am okay??

I'm not mentioning names.....if i accidentaly let something out.....than..i'm sorry...

but it really kind of ticks me of if you think that we don't want you around....

i will tell you the truth....and you'll probably hate me for a very very long time....

but.....either way....I've been 'seperated' from you all already....

things won't go the way you wanted it....

no matter how many times or how many things you try to do to avoid things from happening....

it just doesn't go that way....

May I repeat....

you'll always be our sister....

yes things aren't right if it's just two-some....

but you've attached yourself more to.....other people.....

we were hurt by that when you started....

but we came to accept it and that you won't really be not 'one of us'....

everytime you come by to recess with us....we always like having you around...

and we may seem not as close as before....it's only because of different classes...

we can't help that...

honestly speaking.....

I like the saying once a sister....always a sister....

(yes I took it from the scouts moto...but that sucked....sorry scouts!)

anyway.....we really need to talk...

you can't go on thinking we don't want you anymore...

and...I'm not going to tolerate being treated like an out-sider like I always have...

sometimes....I don't feel like joining you all because....i don't fit in....I've tried....for FOUR DAMN FCUKING FREAKING YEARS!!!!

you think that it's not frustrating trying to fit in....trying to be good enough to please all of you but can never do so??isn't it frustrating to try to start a conversation or be accepted and FAIL?!?!

okayy......

maybe that was too much.....

I'll stop here....I hope I don't need to post anything like this anymore........

I'm sorry if I said too much...and I'm sorry if I cause a very big fight....

I wil only hope that....you understand that this is from my point of view...

a little of what I'm feeling inside...

Hyperness

Okay.........

today was one hell of a day......

a mixture of happiness, sadness, unluckiness [lol according to my dictionary :) ]

weird in a sense that things aren't as good as things can be...

if I'm making sense at all....lol

I don't feel like posting much today....

so yeah....i'll end here...

tomorrow's open day....

I'll see how i did.....*sigh*

If i did badly...you guys would know if i can't go online..... :)

If i'm okay and still surviving......I'll be here as usual... :)

If you get it...I'm sorry..

Things has always been unnoticable....

and now you're trying to change me...

i know you will say i'm vry vry stubborn...

but...I'm not one that can be changed easily...

don't you think i have tried to change???

don't you think i have tried to stand out for once????

i felt like a was under a microscope...all eyes on me....

i felt my cheeks so hot i thought i've already turned the darkest shade of colour....

i didn't want that to happen again...

thats why....

don't try changing me okay??

i'm not worth your time...

i'm not worth it..

Sorry kay?

oh yes...and bout the leo and IU nights.....

i'm not allowed to go...

and i don't think i want to go...

i seriously look weird in a dress....

and please....I'm not going to dress up for MPT5...

unless there can be a change in the rules saying there's no need to wear a dress and i can go in jeans....than..........slight maybe....i'll decide to give my friends what they want..i'll go and wear a dress.....but i won't like wearing it one bit.

If my own family doesn't even notice me....why should all of you?I'm sorry kay if what i just typed out has got you down or something....or made you angry at me...

i get it kay...but....the background has always been where i have been....if you get it...

Accidents.......*sigh*

(Yeah...the two crazies of the gang) xP

Another day, another possible entry.. :D

Morning :

Woke up quite late....

made little elf late...xD

reached centre at 9.30 am......

half an hour late for trial test...

teacher R dun let RF sit inside the office with me....:(

cuz we always talk and talk!!!haha!!!xD

Used our handphones to text each other all through the test anyway

Haha!!RF we'll always be naughty there...:)

Just as soon as I came out of the centre....M was talking with teacher R...

RF had already gone off to school...

I was walking to the car...and i saw another car coming from behind....

That guy just drove straight into M's car!!! ( luckily it wasn't D's if not he'd blow far worse than what he showd just now...)

Anyway....he drove into M's car and reversed....and drove front again...and again....3 hits!!!

D yelled at him a heck alot....the guy's from India...no licence...

the damage cost more than RM 300 which D asked him to pay....the guy couldn't even pay that amount......

that lasted till afternoon...

A little past afternoon :

Went down to Satelite buy chicken rice....

witnessed another car accident.....*sigh* what a day...

Went to church....GB...

no electricity in church...had worship outside in the loggia!!!that was one experiance that rarely happen....

wanted to take a pic...but than...I remembered D had my cam to take pic of the damage...

*sigh*

Evening :

After GB....went home...cleaned up....than go eat....(yes kor...)again at the same coffee shop...

the people there know us so well already I think....

Night :

Online!!!

chat with C, kor, Est....

kor and Est trying to lure me into joining plurk...

hah.....not gonna happen..

kay...

I woud love to go to sleep now....

Nite Nite!

Tata!

TTYL(ON)!xD

Adios Amigos! xP

bleh...bye :)

Mixed Feelings...

Okay...

On the 4th of March...and today...

I saw u...

at the same staircase in school....

but now...we just walk by...without a single word.....not even 'hey'...

It still kinds of hurts when I see you go by...

I miss your smile...

Your light touch...

Everything just whisked away....in a flash...

I thought it would last forever...

My hopes were in vain...

*shakes head and comes back down to earth..*

I saw you look away...

Why is that?

Tomorrow...

another trial exam...

oh btw...

Exams gonna be over after the 16th of March!!

than have to start off practicing for practical grade 8......crap...

Have to figure out what to do for GB squad week...theme is Social....anyone reading this pls give some ideas....I'm kinda desperate....Dead line is on the 27th March 2009...

Oh guess what??

My mum's handphone got frowned in the washing machine again...

2nd time now...

but everytime also can get new hp le...

*mumbles to myself...* maybe i should start drowning my hps too...

Kor is at his college now for an event...

wonder what he's doing...

I'm so bored here online...

While chatting with C and R..oh n K

*I may have mentioned all alphas so many times...

but sometimes they're all diff ppl (evil laugh)*

yeah...i think i'll sign off now..

tata

bye..

adios (not sure of spelling)

ahh...what the heck..

GOODBYE! *lots of kisses* xP