Forget It...fullstop...the end...

I'm sitting here in front of the laptop...
just wondering what to type....
Should I expose what I'm thinking?
Or should I just say I'm good?
I don't want you to know that you've hurt me...
more than in a way..
But......as I sit here and think what to really let out...
I think of you and wonder if you'll know it's really you that I mean...
Do you miss me?
Do you even care that I'm gone???
What if I didn't exist today?
What would the world have been like?

oh...yes...the Paws thing...
I'm disappointed that they won't except volunteers on weekends...
I'm not free during weekdays for goodness sake!!!!
The place closes in half an hour time....
still waiting for SOMEONE to reply my messages so to tell what to do....
but....yeah.....
she's too addicted to "maple story"...*sigh*

In the night I hear your voice...
talking sweetly in my ear...
telling me it's alright and that you'll always be with me...
that....didn't happen...again.....
forget it....
It will be this way....
Forget it...

....tagged.......by Jin Onn......hz....

random pic...

1st Tag
Directions : Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog, you can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. I aim to study at Aus in 3&1/2 years time
2. I hate myself xP
3. I love myself xD
4. I think that I look a little like Wern last time lol
5. I'm gonna try getting a volunteer job at Paws
6. I love ice-cream!!!!!!
7. Did you know that sugar actually makes you age faster?!?!? =O
8. My economics skills are horrible
9. I have no idea why I'm doing this tag....
10. I envy those people that wear dresses and look better than i do haha!!!
11. I'M FREAKING too random....but my friends love me for it!!!lol
12. I like going to Aus....especially Melbourne....
13. I like guys that can play the guitar and sing.. *hint hint* lol
14. I'm happy I have many friends that will be there for me
15. I can't think of anything to type in right now.....
16. I'm not sure if I want to do a tag anymore!!!haha

2nd tag
Direction: List 5 things that has something to do with you

1. 5 things you love the most
- Family
- My Pet sibs
- Ice-cream!( Choco-Mint please..... )
- My handphone
- My music

2. 5 things you hate the most
- When I hate myslf.........
- Big headed jerks that only care for how they look
- Guys that put games before their friends....especially their gfs.
- Alcoholics
- Sex maniacs

3. 5 things beside u
- My handphone
- Chair
- Pillows
- Main phone
- Mum's art work...........

4. 5 babes you love the most (added : y can't it be guys???)
*changing question for some girl's sake*
4. 5 guys you love the most
- D
- My bro =)
- A specific guy...... *looks around*
- Jesse McCartney
- Any guy that can make me fall in love xD (nothing to type adi)

5. 5 things you need the most
- Family
- Friends
- My handphone
- Music around me
- Intenet connection

Kay...I finished my tag..... I tag.......um....
- Kor
- Wern
- Est
- Siew
- Denise

Who am I???

Who am I??

Thanks sis and kor...

mostly sis who scolded me....(and ratted me out on plurk...... =.=)

What's the "new" me going to be like???

okay....there were a few suggestions.....

if anyone reading this.....please comment and add suggestions pls??

these were the suggestions that i got so far... :

~not to be so stubborn

~be the crazy person i was before...

~be hapy-go-lucky....again...according to them....like i was before...

~be myself....

any suggestions...again add comment on cbox or this post itself

thanks!! =)

Currently Overboard...again...

Theory Exam IS OVERRRRRR!!!!!!!!

yay..

now practicing for practical grade 8...... -.-

*sigh* what to do....

at least i don't need to do theory anymore for the rest of the year.....i think...

oh and....

i think it's best if I don't mention that topic anymore...

I have not heard from anyone except kor for a very long time....

Now in my cousin's place...

got nothing to do...so yeah.."create post la"...

create post also nothing to write about....

so I guess i'll go check out everyone's blog..

though I think i know what i'll find there...

I don't know why everyone is always against me...

but yeah....to hell if i care...I'm individual...

has always been that way..

okay...mabe except for one thing that happened...

but even that is over now...

so why bother??

I'm back to being independent....
Finding myself again....

Honest replies...I will not hold much back...

seeing what you posted.......

That really hurt me.....

We always want to be with you.....

but.....from our point of view....

honestly....you've changed.....

but yeah.....you'll always be our sister......

and for goodnessake...I do belive you all are more updated than I am okay??

I'm not mentioning names.....if i accidentaly let something out.....than..i'm sorry...

but it really kind of ticks me of if you think that we don't want you around....

i will tell you the truth....and you'll probably hate me for a very very long time....

but.....either way....I've been 'seperated' from you all already....

things won't go the way you wanted it....

no matter how many times or how many things you try to do to avoid things from happening....

it just doesn't go that way....

May I repeat....

you'll always be our sister....

yes things aren't right if it's just two-some....

but you've attached yourself more to.....other people.....

we were hurt by that when you started....

but we came to accept it and that you won't really be not 'one of us'....

everytime you come by to recess with us....we always like having you around...

and we may seem not as close as before....it's only because of different classes...

we can't help that...

honestly speaking.....

I like the saying once a sister....always a sister....

(yes I took it from the scouts moto...but that sucked....sorry scouts!)

anyway.....we really need to talk...

you can't go on thinking we don't want you anymore...

and...I'm not going to tolerate being treated like an out-sider like I always have...

sometimes....I don't feel like joining you all because....i don't fit in....I've tried....for FOUR DAMN FCUKING FREAKING YEARS!!!!

you think that it's not frustrating trying to fit in....trying to be good enough to please all of you but can never do so??isn't it frustrating to try to start a conversation or be accepted and FAIL?!?!

okayy......

maybe that was too much.....

I'll stop here....I hope I don't need to post anything like this anymore........

I'm sorry if I said too much...and I'm sorry if I cause a very big fight....

I wil only hope that....you understand that this is from my point of view...

a little of what I'm feeling inside...

Hyperness

Okay.........

today was one hell of a day......

a mixture of happiness, sadness, unluckiness [lol according to my dictionary :) ]

weird in a sense that things aren't as good as things can be...

if I'm making sense at all....lol

I don't feel like posting much today....

so yeah....i'll end here...

tomorrow's open day....

I'll see how i did.....*sigh*

If i did badly...you guys would know if i can't go online..... :)

If i'm okay and still surviving......I'll be here as usual... :)

If you get it...I'm sorry..

Things has always been unnoticable....

and now you're trying to change me...

i know you will say i'm vry vry stubborn...

but...I'm not one that can be changed easily...

don't you think i have tried to change???

don't you think i have tried to stand out for once????

i felt like a was under a microscope...all eyes on me....

i felt my cheeks so hot i thought i've already turned the darkest shade of colour....

i didn't want that to happen again...

thats why....

don't try changing me okay??

i'm not worth your time...

i'm not worth it..

Sorry kay?

oh yes...and bout the leo and IU nights.....

i'm not allowed to go...

and i don't think i want to go...

i seriously look weird in a dress....

and please....I'm not going to dress up for MPT5...

unless there can be a change in the rules saying there's no need to wear a dress and i can go in jeans....than..........slight maybe....i'll decide to give my friends what they want..i'll go and wear a dress.....but i won't like wearing it one bit.

If my own family doesn't even notice me....why should all of you?I'm sorry kay if what i just typed out has got you down or something....or made you angry at me...

i get it kay...but....the background has always been where i have been....if you get it...

Accidents.......*sigh*

(Yeah...the two crazies of the gang) xP

Another day, another possible entry.. :D

Morning :

Woke up quite late....

made little elf late...xD

reached centre at 9.30 am......

half an hour late for trial test...

teacher R dun let RF sit inside the office with me....:(

cuz we always talk and talk!!!haha!!!xD

Used our handphones to text each other all through the test anyway

Haha!!RF we'll always be naughty there...:)

Just as soon as I came out of the centre....M was talking with teacher R...

RF had already gone off to school...

I was walking to the car...and i saw another car coming from behind....

That guy just drove straight into M's car!!! ( luckily it wasn't D's if not he'd blow far worse than what he showd just now...)

Anyway....he drove into M's car and reversed....and drove front again...and again....3 hits!!!

D yelled at him a heck alot....the guy's from India...no licence...

the damage cost more than RM 300 which D asked him to pay....the guy couldn't even pay that amount......

that lasted till afternoon...

A little past afternoon :

Went down to Satelite buy chicken rice....

witnessed another car accident.....*sigh* what a day...

Went to church....GB...

no electricity in church...had worship outside in the loggia!!!that was one experiance that rarely happen....

wanted to take a pic...but than...I remembered D had my cam to take pic of the damage...

*sigh*

Evening :

After GB....went home...cleaned up....than go eat....(yes kor...)again at the same coffee shop...

the people there know us so well already I think....

Night :

Online!!!

chat with C, kor, Est....

kor and Est trying to lure me into joining plurk...

hah.....not gonna happen..

kay...

I woud love to go to sleep now....

Nite Nite!

Tata!

TTYL(ON)!xD

Adios Amigos! xP

bleh...bye :)

Mixed Feelings...

Okay...

On the 4th of March...and today...

I saw u...

at the same staircase in school....

but now...we just walk by...without a single word.....not even 'hey'...

It still kinds of hurts when I see you go by...

I miss your smile...

Your light touch...

Everything just whisked away....in a flash...

I thought it would last forever...

My hopes were in vain...

*shakes head and comes back down to earth..*

I saw you look away...

Why is that?

Tomorrow...

another trial exam...

oh btw...

Exams gonna be over after the 16th of March!!

than have to start off practicing for practical grade 8......crap...

Have to figure out what to do for GB squad week...theme is Social....anyone reading this pls give some ideas....I'm kinda desperate....Dead line is on the 27th March 2009...

Oh guess what??

My mum's handphone got frowned in the washing machine again...

2nd time now...

but everytime also can get new hp le...

*mumbles to myself...* maybe i should start drowning my hps too...

Kor is at his college now for an event...

wonder what he's doing...

I'm so bored here online...

While chatting with C and R..oh n K

*I may have mentioned all alphas so many times...

but sometimes they're all diff ppl (evil laugh)*

yeah...i think i'll sign off now..

tata

bye..

adios (not sure of spelling)

ahh...what the heck..

GOODBYE! *lots of kisses* xP