19th & 20th Nov 2009

wanted to change my blogskin...

but....

lazy now

haha

tomorrow...

is

the

21st of Nov 2009!!

the dance...

the day..

the dinner...

the dress...

the heels...

my hair..

the make-up...

all

not

ready...

crap

and yesterday at the practice for the musical...

i cried cause i couldn't take it anymore...

from a different point of view someone else will tell you how it went....

looking around she saw every other musicians playing thier instruments beautifully..

and what was she doing??

playing awful sounding notes through her flute..

the high piercing sounds echoed throughout the sanctuary as the pianist (probably fed up of her) just went on playing the beautiful songs the flutist was destroying...

than finally..

she (the flutist) gave up..

abandoning the musician group..

she put down her 'precious' flute that she held..

and ran out through the enclosed rooms and out the back door...

where she just sat by the steps and cried out her confirmed fears and all the pressure and all the stress she's been keeping in...

she cried and cried till unexpectedly the side door opened and a guy's voice came to her hearing as he asked 

"are you okay?"

"what's wrong?"

he came and sit next to her on the steps and asked the most suprising thing...

"may i pray for you?"

due to all the tears that was streaming down her face she didn't answer him even when he asked her for her name..

his prayer came quietly but somewhat powerful..

that now that she thought of it..it made her jealous that he had a clear strong bond with God..

when he finished..he asked

"do you need someone to talk to?" quick shake of a head : no

"you okay?" quick nod : yes

"do you want to be alone?" quick nod again..

"okay..if you need someone to talk to..talk to me kay?" nod

and he left..

it got me thinking...

where is God if he'd there?

what if i was one of the people that God just let be?

i just sat there thinking..

as the music was still playing inside..

and the voices ringging clear like bells..

i thought to myself..

why should i stay and destroy every hard work they have put in this musical?

why disappoint everyone?

she got up and through the quiet backway she slipped into the bathrooms and washed up..

she heard the dancers voices coming out from the sanctuary indicating the the musical practice was over..

she had missed everything..

which got her thinking again...

did anyone notice i left?

would they be bothered that i wasn't there?

she slipped back again from where she came from...

and went back towards the musician's seats..

where her sort-of-related cousin, Isabel, one of the graceful violinist came up to her and comforted her which made her smile..

Jason, playing the cool electronic bass guitar came up and asked why she walked out in the middle of the song..

he made a few jokes which helped her laugh..

Chris, the rockin drummer came by and said a few cheerful words..

Amanda, from her class came down from the choir group and "bullied" her a bit...

she "bullied" back..

than she saw the guy that was outside with her just now..

Isabel told her his name is Steven..

she wanted to thank him for the prayer but he looked busy with the sound systems..

so she decided not to bother him..

than Nathenial, another violinist and Michella, a singer (i think thats how you spell it >.<) came from thier dinners...and asked how practice went...

she just put on her best "poker-face" and said it went well..

she than went to the pianist's mother, Aunt Lilian..

Aunt Lilian and her mum were friends..

and she asked Aunt Lilian..

is it too late to pull out?

Aunt Lilian looked at her and said

"if you pull out, i would kill you dear girl"

"you play very well and if you quit..y shouldn't i too?"

that got her thinking..

Aunt Lilian had been singing with dad for so long after mum quit..

she faced all these but in a little different situations...

"come" Aunt Lilian said with a glint in her eye (a naughty one) "lets disturb your father and the rest there having 'detention' " 

i laughed with her and agreed..

only Aunt Lilian was warned off with a cold-ice glare from her daughter at the piano..

after 'detention' was over..

her dad motioned for her to go..

obviously he didn't notice her absence..

which wasn't really suprising..

she went home determined not to cry anymore..

and that she would just keep it down..

the future that is held for her is a suprise all together..